More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
