I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize
