apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
