you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
