yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
