...so i touched it.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
