Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
