haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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