I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Randomize
