my vag is so smooth its legendary
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
