im having a threesome with these popsicles
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
