That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
