My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
