how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
