ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
