your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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