I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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