hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
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