i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
i think i just lost a toe
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
