she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
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