He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
