I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
