Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
