I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i will never coherently bang her
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
no more duck duck goose at the bar
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
