nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
