I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
