do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
