If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
