I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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