I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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