i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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