is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
