Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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