I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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