Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
