no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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