Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
