trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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