And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
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