My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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