This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
