Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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