You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
