"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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