Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
just tell him i said nine months
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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