some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
