i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
