spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I still have a little drunk in my system
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
