Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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