If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
