when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
