He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
