using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
