I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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