is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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