Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
