Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
