Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
