..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
