lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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