apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
