You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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