i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Just pee around me
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
