I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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